Random Thoughts & Adventures & A Few Tales To Boot
from a girl who has lots to say - but writes it so much better!
Walk In The Garden
I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The son of God discloses
And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known
He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet that the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known
Is this statement true when it comes to your own children?
"Concentrating on other people's problems was a way to avoid your own. You do not have to deal with your life—the pain of being rejected, the helplessness being felt when you can't find work, acknowledging that even a career choice has been driven by needing to help. "What I keep reminding myself is that my worth is more than what I do for others."
I don't believe it is. My children are my world. When they are hurting, I hurt. I do everything possible to help them with whatever it is that they are going through.
I just have a ton of pondering, praying, give gratitude for what I do have and remember that thy will done and I'm powerless over it. No matter how hard I try and help. I'm sad, so, so very sad this morning.
He knows your heart
He knows your pain
He knows the strength it took just too simply breathe today
He sees the tears that you cry
He knows your soul is aching to know why
He hears your prayers each humble word
When you said you couldn’t face another day he understood
He knows the path that you will find
Though you felt alone he’s never left your side
He knew there’d be moments when no earthly words
Could take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
He’ll bring you peace and leave you hope
And in the darkest night he’ll comfort you
Until you know the sun will rise and each new day
You will have the strength to live again
And when there are moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
He hears you when you’re crying in the night
He hears you when your soul longs to find
Till the morning will come
And the light of the dawn reassures
That in the moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
He hears you when you’re crying in the night
He hears you when your soul longs to find
Till the morning will come
And the light of the dawn reassures
That in the moments when no earthly words
can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you’re going through
When you’ve taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you
I'm SUPER excited!! My calendar is booked now for the rest of January. I will be busy every day. I LOVE having a busy but FUN schedule ahead of me!
The weekend, so far has been AMAZING! I'm so HAPPY to be alive and soBLESSED! I have so much gratitude inside of me. First of all I'm grateful for my husband, Marc. He brings so much joy and happiness into my life plus he keeps me on my toes!
I'm enjoying my morning meditations and my ritual that I've been keeping up with every morning. It's extremely relaxing and gives me so much energy. I've been writing daily in my gratitude journal. I've been proactive on completing my daily affirmations.
Next week is Genius Bootcamp and I'm ever so EXCITED!! Two full days filled with motivational, inspiring material.
So it's been a few weeks since I've made time for blogging. I don't have any excuses. Pure laziness.
I've been reading quite a bit on my Kindle Touch that my husband purchased for me for Christmas. I am loving it!
I have a few photos to share from the holidays.
Grandpa & Florence
Chazen
Tommy, Chazen and Megan
These are some photos from Christmas Day. We had Tommy, Megan and Chazen over for Christmas Day and they brought Chazen's gifts with them so he could open them here.
Melanie, Jason and Jacob stopped in for two days before heading to Arizona. It was really nice having them here, although the time was short.
Melanie, me and Jacob
Just foolin' around!
Group shot!
Jason, Melanie, Jacob and Holly (Mel's BFF)
On Christmas eve day, Erin, Derrick and their children stopped by briefly.
Erin, Owen, Hayden, Halle & Me
Grandma & Owen
This is a video of Halle, Hayden and Owen watching Santa talking to them on the computer!!
Christmas was quite different this year. We didn't put out a Christmas tree but I did decorate around the house. Income wise has been scarce for a while now but we always manage to pull through with our faith in tact.
Now on an uplifting note, I have been self evaluating and have come to terms with many things about myself and have decided to make some HUGE changes in my life. I feel like I've made some deep progress since December 28th, 2011. That was the day that I made my decision on my life and my future. I wanted my life to be HAPPY and MEANINGFUL and SELF-INSPIRING and with the help of some very dear angels things are beginning to turn around for me and I'm LOVING every moment of it. I'm using new tools for my beautiful path that I'm creating. I will share a few of them here.
I've been writing a lot! I have a notebook that I write in every single day. On the "even" days I write three things about me or my life that are POSITIVE. Afterwords I read them aloud. This has been very healing for me. On the "odd" days I write things that are bothering me and/or NEGATIVE. I read them aloud and then I have a ritual that I use and that is going out on my back porch with my candle lighter and the ripped page from the "odd" day and set it in the wheel barrel to set it on FIRE! I stand there over it and watch it burn till there is nothing left. I'm moving forward!!!
I can honestly say that my healing process is truly affecting my attitude towards life. My calendar is filling up. I'm attending a "Genius Bootcamp" next week for two full days. I have a phone conference next Monday with a Life Coach that I'm really looking forward to.
I'm learning about GENSHAI which means the following "never to treat others, or yourself, in a way to make them feel small" in other words, holding all people in their excellence, including yourself.
I am going to write down in my planner the days that I will be blogging so as to 'remind' myself and keep everything up to date.
With all of that, I just have to say one thing - THANK YOU!!
One of the hardest parts of the healing journey is learning to let go of relationships that we hold so much hope for.
I'd spent a lifetime struggling to do things "right enough" to finally be "good enough" that others would accept me...that they would finally love me for who I was. That I would have a place to belong. A place where I felt wanted. A family...THE family or friends - that I'd never had but always dreamed of and hoped for.
I just knew that there was something that I'd done to cause them to not love or want me. If I was prettier. Smarter. When I bought my first house...got a better job. Bought them the right gift, sent them the best card.
I held onto the hope that if I could just try harder that things would change.
And sometimes they did.
For a minute.
Learning to let go of the hope and wish that I could somehow change myself that others would love or accept me was almost as hard as actually letting those relationships go. I wanted desperately to "make things work" and it was only when I let this idea go that things began to work - for me.
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
- Bella Swan
